These were the last words Ed spoke to me before coming in and out of consciousness, two weeks before his passing. And these are the words that I am holding on to today and every day I move forward because these will get me through this almost completely unbearable time of my life.
Ed’s powerful expression to me was so thought out, even in the midst of everything he was going through he chose his words carefully, said them to me in the exact way that I needed to hear them so I would be all right. Just a small sampling of how we were together. Whenever I did not know exactly what to do, what decision to make or how to get passed something that may be addressing me in a difficult way, Ed words made me think about the direction I needed to take and when he did this, I’d be able to choose a place I needed to go.
During these two weeks of mourning, missing him so badly that it hurts more than any illness I’ve fared, of feeling each day that I don’t know how I can face another day without him at my side, I hear his voice clearly in my head. He says “It’s OK to mourn, it’s OK to cry but keep going, keep taking care of our kitties...” and when he says this he includes the best ways to keep the litter box clean. He says it’s now up to me to fulfill his life long dream, what he and I’ve worked on in our shared lifetime together. To complete this venture; finish building the betting program including his thoughts, including his statistics. He said Benter made a billion dollars with limited yet focused data from a database for just two racetracks in Hong Kong. We have track specific extremely focused data for 108 total racetracks in the USA and Canada and where Benter probably built a million algorithms for his betting program our betting program will have at least 108 million more.
And from these words I sit still, listen, meditate to an even pace, and then laugh out loud about how Ed always made sure I was aware of the important fact that he cleaned the littler box better than me and smile because I finally realized he is still with me, he continues to keep me going just in a different way…. he is now in my head.
In 1998 Ed and I lived in a house that we paid cash for from a combination of winnings from the racetrack and from a small recycling brokerage company that we managed and owned. This business required a great deal of capital because we had to pay for the recyclables we purchased for the paper mills up front while the mills we sold to had terms of payment of 120 days. To fund this Ed and I put our home up for collateral to obtain a business line of credit. This loan required a zero balance of at least 30 days within each year and at this time was vastly approaching the annual date due. If we did not accomplished zeroing out this note it would be called in and we were were at risk of losing our home. It was then when Ed said “Santa Anita has a carryover in their pick 6 today, why don’t you put $100 into your betting account, relax and take a look at it!”
Well……….. we hit the pick six at Santa Anita that day. It paid $88,411.00, $67,000 after taxes and we drove to Ladbroke race track (the hub that took in all the youbet online bets) in the middle of a blizzard and picked up $67,000 in cash given to us in brown paper bags. We never would have hit this pick 6 had Ed not said for me to put the money into my betting account and we used the winnings to zero out our business line of credit!
When saying there is no better feeling in the world than being loved back by the one person you truly loved, Ed is also that person for me. And wherever he is right now, I know I will be some day but until that time this love of ours has not stopped and this shared bond lasts forever and knowing this within my core being lets me know that I can move on and everything will be OK.
And to be OK means finishing his legacy where he left off and because of his careful and precise preparation, and all his feelings and thoughts he’s left inside my head, I am certain that together we are going to accomplish this.
SOME GOOD NEWS
I took the above screen shot so you can see the progress we are making on our betting program. Over the next week I will be filling you in on all the details. We’ve made a lot of progress though there is still a ways to go. We have 108 racetracks that we daily enter data for, including future entries and everything, and I emphasize everything has to match up. So there is this process called Aliasing which means a jockey, a trainer or an owner will have multiple entries under different names. As an example the jockey John R. Velazquez will be entered in our data base as J.R. Velazquez, or J Velazquez, or Velazquez, J.R. or Velazquez, J or Velazquez, John R or Velazquez, J and all these names have to be matched up. In addition there are several other jockey’s with the same last name and also with the first initial of J so when we match up the aliasing (which is something Ed and I do (did) cause we know who is who it just takes time to cull through. Multiply this by every jockey, every trainer, and every owner and you can now see why this takes time. In order to have accurate stats they have to be accurately applied to the correct person and because we’re going to be betting lots of money accuracy is essential. Then each entity has to have an algorithm applied so the program will tell us who has an advantage over who each day and then it will be up to me to choose which ones we actually bet.
Realize the most essential thing to our success is accuracy and building this program that will tell us what to bet is something that just cannot be rushed. More than anything we know you know how we wanted to have this done before Ed passed but even as much as it hurt to wait in hope that this would be here before he passed he knew and always said to do this right it can not be rushed along. Though with that said we are probably closer than you may think.